Parley Vous Fracas?

I just realised that my erroneous train of thought has arrived at exactly the same station, 3 years ago.

=/

The Gabsicle needs a fresh perspective yo~

Upd8.

I leave for iPoh tomorrow and I can't frickin' wait. =)))

This past week has been hectic, stressful, tiring, chaotic, theoretic, diuretic, lunatic and so many others...Bedbugs aside, it's also been consuming, deluding, presuming and yet conversely fulfilling.

Do you find woman voice actors playing boy roles a tad annoying?

I do.

Annoyingannoyingannoyingannoyingannoyingannoyingannoyingannoyingannoyingannoyingannoyingannoyingannoyingannoyingannoyingannoyingannoyingannoyingannoying!

So irritating. And of all of the cheap-labour armored suits, Jimmy Neutron has to be the worst. Have you heard the screams? Like distressed yogurt in glazed formaldehyde crepes.

Don't ask.

Argh. This comp's screen is too big for my blog BG. Now there's an extra black bar where more stars are supposed to be. And the header's escaped from its moorings. Meh. It looked fine on the other one.

Looks like another revamp is inevitable...sigh.

Question:
What do The Joker, a surfer dude and a coconut have in common?

Answer:
They all like to watch life go by, content to bum around and watch the world turn.
Oh wait, Heath Ledger’s Joker likes to watch the world burn, but hey, same difference right?

There is the Hippie theory---Why go through such mental hemorrhage, always trying to figure out the universe, when all you have to show for it are two bumps on opposite sides of your head where religion and science lie, respectively?

Why not just sit back, laugh and enjoy the fireworks?

To be quite honest, that thought really appeals to me. Not attempting bliss through ignorance---More like, fully appreciating everything that Life has to offer. To stop and smell the roses, so to speak.

Love. Laugh. Live. and Wonder.

For maybe our existence is to marvel at the things God has created.

(Scientists on the other hand, take marveling to the extreme and try to disassemble every single anomaly on Earth, and then some.)

Where does the atheist figure in all of this though?

If we’re the ultimate evolution of the universe, why do we derive pleasure, perhaps even feel moved by beautiful things? And I don’t mean beautiful as in Jessica Alba‘s assets, please. There’s a very simple explanation for that. =/

But don’t tell me you’ve never felt even a shrag of awe when you saw the aurora, or the vibrant hues of a wild flower, or the desolate beauty of an arid desert, or the plethora of variety in a bed of coral, or the infinite depth of a starry night sky?

I believe that it is part of the soul to be awed. To have something beautiful, something marvelous strike a chord in your heart. Even for the non-theists.

If you don’t, you probably lack a soul.

*

***
*******
Stars............
In their multitude
Scarce to be counted.....................................
Filling the darkness...............................
With order and light.................
You are the sentinels......
Silent and sure...................
Keeping watch in the night....,
Keeping watch in the night...........

~Javier, Les Miserables

Shadows and regrets

There are certain things that go on in my life, that I do not post on this blog for personal reasons. Things like he said she said, trivial disagreements, bouts of depression and frustrations. Things which may seem of little worth to the casual passer-by, but to me they are a sordid reminder of my failings as a human, and subsequently my failings as a Christian.



I'm ashamed to say that I have been ashamed of God before. Even now, the part of me that functions on cold logic denies my utter surrender to Him, because I'm in the middle of a debate within myself and I'm afraid taking sides would result in an unfair verdict.



I regularly have to take my God-centric mindset out and put in one which imagines a world without God, scary as that thought is. But who knows if my faith is nothing substantial in the first place? What if it's just an outward expression of a deeper, unexplained yearning inside? I pondered this question in Church this Sunday.



Am I just using God as my security blanket, so that my fears will be assuaged? Is He just an emotional fix, so that I can live out the majority of my life worry-less and care-less?



I came to the conclusion that I had to see how my relationship with Him reflects my relationship with people. And if that's the case, no wonder I've got Him all wrong.



Now let me digress for a bit.



This Sunday was a happy culmination of circumstance. Met up with the unlikeliest of people in church, namely Eric (the wolfman), Yao Zhong, Adeline , Ryan and Nick. The Boeys came with their parents; Yao Zhong led here by May, and Eric himself dropped by after his undang test was over. Lucky or what?



Later me and Eric said goodbye to Adeline and adjourned for lunch with May and YZ, and after that we split up, YZ and May to Singapore, Eric and me to go window shopping at Jusco.



* * * * * *



When I was young(er), I used to get so tied up over why a certain person would deliberately dislike me for no apparent reason. As far as I knew, my conscience was clear; I did not do anything to merit such animosity to myself. It was only a few painful months later that I learnt a hard lesson; that people would be enemies just because of their differences.

However, there is another kind of enmity, and that is when one has wronged the other party to such an extent that the incident will always be scarred in their memories, regardless of whether the deed is forgiven.

And that is much, much worse.

It's all too obvious, from your body language, that the memory of my stupidity still lurks under the surface. For once, I'm listening to what a girl is NOT saying, and I hear as loud as a bell that you've given up on us ever having a chance together. I've made my mistake. I've paid the price. No doubt you would be better off with him; after all, he seems to really care for you, and I honestly hope he is less self-centric than I am. I wish you two all the best.

I have resumed my periodic trawling of new clothes for Chinese Niu Year...finally got to try on a pair of skinnies and a matching converse, but after much strained negotiation with the mirror decided that skinnies weren't really my thing after all.

Isn't that just predictably ironic? =_=

Later we went down to chow at Toastbox while waiting for the wolfman's mum.
Met someone new there by the name of Tiffany, and turns out she knew me way before we even met, back at Seri Perling. Apparently my english accent is somewhat of a curio back there.
So anyway we fell to talking, the three of us, but kesian the wolfman was also a banana so half the time he couldn't understand what we were saying. Too bad for him. Hehe.

From this incident, its amazing how small our world really is. And I don't mean small in the usual sense. When people hear 'small world' they think

"Huh, everyone's interconnected, we've got planes and boats and cars, there's nothing unknown in this world anymore."

If you think about it though, not really. It's more like our world is very self-contained, meaning that its more like a series of circles of friends that radiate out from you, geopolitically speaking, until everyone really is interconnected.

Unless that's what everyone thought it meant all along. Which just goes to show I've been a self-deluded fool.

I wonder if that's true for my amateur philosophizing as well?

The heck with it.

I've decided to skip the in-depth section on morals and carry on to where I left off.

So here's the next part:

I think it all boils down to one question:

Can one really create Something out of Nothing (without God)?

Haha, I'm starting with the conclusion and backtracking now. Sorry ya, bear with it.

So anyway, what do I mean by that?

I think the ultimate question to answer is just that:

If it's Yes, you can create something out of nothing withput God, science wins. If No, religion wins.

Simple as that. But, I know some are clamouring, it's so obvious you can't create something out of nothing! What are you, some kind of psychobabble-spouting quack?

Actually, it's not obvious at all. Read on to find out.

So, how do I explain this? First of all, when I stated that question I'm not just talking about the really obvious example , the Beginning of Creation/The Big Bang. There are other instances of a something being fashioned out of nothing including the existence of a conscience, human creativity, evolution(but of course) , intelligence, the list goes on.

If you think about it, intelligence could be a by-product of a system that continually makes random variations in order to chance upon some genetic mutation that'll enable the organism thrive better in its surroundings. In this case, because nature has been favourable to smarter monkeys, our forefathers' brains have evolved to such an extent that we begin to be self-aware.

Imagine some billion years ago in Africa, a chimp(we'll call him Bob) is born to his proud parents (can animals be proud?). He grows up, learns to climb trees 'cos it's in his instinct, and eats nuts and berries. One hot and dry day though, Bob looks at the sky and wonders where do the puffy white things which give rain come from? He goes through a series of similar questions based on the external stimuli around him, then finally he turns his focus inward and asks:

Who am I?

Or maybe more importantly,

WHAT am I?

This is the point which I'd like to call the Point Of Self-Realization. I dunno what philosophers call it, or if I'm dead wrong about where it is, or if it even exists.

All I know is that it all goes spiralling downward from there.

So back to the point:

Morals follow the same principle: Imagine a school of fish. Just swimming around, minding their own business, but moving as a whole. Why do they do that? To make predators think it's one massive fish. And that's the primieval instinct behind the need for social interaction: United we stand, divided we fall. Why do you think we have herds and prides and flocks?

Humans, of course, are one of the most social animals on the planet. Also one of the most socially complicated. There are rules and regulations over who presides over what and why this is so, caste systems, various '-archy's and '-cracy's. Culture plays a role in this too. And then there are the unspoken rules; the ones everyone knows and no one needs to clarify. These are what we call moral values.

Why the need for all this stuff?

Like I said earlier, people don't need morals (rather, they eschew them) when they're on a personal quest for success. And as everyone knows successful people are the most well-primed for survival.

That's where the something from nothing view comes in:

Can evolution, in its bid for genetic diversity, come up with something so intangible and so convoluted as a conscience?

If that's true, then for all intents and purposes, Nature has evolved us a soul.

Pissed.

Too pissed to blog. =(

So I went bloghopping instead. And a lot of things gave me food for thought. Like how everyone's talking about 2012. Surely something is gonna happen by then. Comic strips are joking about it, people are scoffing at it. Even a pastor had a vision about it.

Wtf la..

And another thing is how I discovered some people are really worse off than I am. And these are people I actually know and care about. (I thought about this for a moment. Actually, I don't really care. And it unsettles me that I could be so apathetic. Where did my empathy go? =S)

For the guy who has an alcoholic for a dad, and the girl who lost hers, and the boy who never even knew his---and now, for the girl whose parents are threatening to divorce and whose family is so much more dysfunctional than my own:

I'm sorry

.
I promise to be a better person--- a pillar of strength, a wise well of advice, a champion of the the oppressed.

Most of all, a Someone who Cares.

"Where does my spirit linger?
Whence has it gone astray?

Oh, my soul.
Where art thou?"

Help me God.

A Journal Post

Last night was sheer hell. No matter how much I swept, wiped, sneezed, blew, the one element most vexating about my room remained an exasperating constant:

DUST.

It seems silly to think about stuff going bump in the night and dogs barking at something unseen... when there was a very real and definitely irritating demon residing in my nose.
Rawr.

Blast you, Congested Sinuses! =x(

The bane of my existence.

Another pointless Q & A session with myself.

[EDIT. Ok, maybe a foreword. Man is by definition curious. He needs to know stuff. Specifically, he needs to know his ultimate purpose. Thus, in the same way, he seeks truth.]

So,

Why do we seek truth?

Because we're insecure.





Why are we insecure?

Because of our ephemeral existence. That's why we look for the eternal amongst the finite.





But why do we even strive to survive? Because of evolution? But why evolve? To survive.




If we trace this question in all of its forms back to an original question, that question might be:

From whence did Life come from, that it feels compelled to sustain itself?





If you wanna look at Life as merely a more complicated method of transferring energy, then we are the ultimate evolution of the universe.

What do I mean by this? I'm suggesting that perhaps we're just a natural extension of chemical reactions brought upon by the random displacement of particles and atoms on Earth, plus a catalyst (such as lightning) thrown into the mix at the right moment to bring forth....Life.

Okay.

Imagine a primordial soup of volatile chemicals mixing and roiling together in an almighty swoosh of complex molecules. Perhaps somehow, somewhere, an accidental reaction occurs, and the resulting molecule(the first bacterium) by chance is able to convert the surrounding molecules of chemicals into energy. Not only that, it also has to retain some kind of method to replicate itself, so that more of its kind will appear and it won't just die out.

But therein lies the question:

Why does it need to replicate?

Oh sorry, what was that? The information for replication happened by chance? Oh, so does that mean that the reason for replication serves no purpose at all? That everything happened by chance? Oh, okay.

So, if you believe that randomisation in the universe can come up with this sort of complexity, then ultimately there is no purpose for us to continue living. We're just one big accident, after all.

But wait a minute. If that is the case, why do we crave look for a purpose? Why do we think? Why do need to wonder about these things? Where does this need come from?

On a related note: Why do we have morals and ethics, if all we need to do is to survive?

Do they serve our own selfish needs? Hardly; it goes against the "survival of the fittest" diatribe which plagues so much of our world, especially the corporate one. We're effectively rebelling against the laws of nature.

In order to answer this question, we need to first understand and define the meaning of morals and ethics. Once we've done that, then only we can apply this reasoning to the origins to the need to have a purpose, and THEN we can actually discover exactly WHAT this purpose IS.

I hope you were able to follow me on that last part, 'cos I had a problem working that entire process out. Yes, my brain capacity is limited kthx. =_=

And I think I've reached the end of my tether in this post.

So next up: What exactly is in a moral?

Gabs out.

What are they waiting for?!

Went out to Jusco and watched a horror movie with KX and the gang.

(Now was that so hard to type down? You're so preoccupied with making a post look 'edgy' and 'creative' that you get caught up in your own self-styled mania.)

NO pics here, since I didn't expect a full-blown outing. I just went to look at some pants, man.

At first I was dead set against watching anything vaguely horror-based, ever since I was thrown head-first into the deep end when I was 6 years old.
(>>GREAT-UNCLE STORY ALERT<<)
My babysitter's daughter had me stay over at their place....And in typical teenager fashion, she had a fascination with blood and gore.

Yeah, you know what that means.

Teenagers+late night sleepover+impressionable little kid=Horror Movie.

At the time, being the brave (read:stupid) child I was, I chose to watch both instead of just choosing one like what she suggested -- stupid, stupid, stupid. I remember the titles, but I know one was a live-action 'fest featuring a devil-incarnate guy with needles all over his face like some acupuncturist's wet dream, terrorizing the populace with an equally terrifying entourage and a Rubik's cube. The other was some period anime which in those days had quite a propensity for gore.


Thus, these two horror flicks gauged in me an indelible fear of all things horror.

After that debacle, even The Nightmare Before Christmas was scary. >_<

[/end great-uncle story]

So can you fault me then, for being just a wee bit apprehensive of going into the cold, dark cinema and sitting there with my legs curled up in front of me, just to get scared witless -- and PAY for it too? =.=

At first I was dead set on not going but in the end KX talked me over. Stupid peer pressure.

Oh well, they say you gotta face your fears sooner or later...Though I was rather hoping for the latter.

Two hours later, we stumbled out of the theatre and went window shopping. Oh, the movie? Cliched to the last drop of blood. I could list out on one hand the usual stuff:

1. Cute, innocent little boy, check.
2. Harried mother willing to go any lengths to save her son, check.
3. Relatives-in-law with skeletons(literally) in the closet, check.
4. Wise old guy who points the way, check.

Sigh.

Even the scares are cookie-cutter representations of the norm:

1.Man gets killed in the opening credits (like why does this always happen?Can they for once not have a flashback-to-an-earlier-period?)
2.The ghost standing on the sidewalk looking staring eerily up at the protagonist
3.An almost customary bathroom scene *rolleyes*
4.Waking dreams, rattling furniture, flesh-eating bones
5.Overworking of the soundtrack (why does every scare have to come with its own theme song?)


The list goes on, though there are some unintentionally funny scenes.... like the part where the ghost beckons the boy round a corner and the weird camera angles make it look like he goes walking in the other direction instead. So we were sniggering in the dark about how the ghost must be hanging around waiting impatiently for the boy to come and just floating there like an idiot XD.

Huh. So much for facing up to your fears =/

Well anyway despite all that, or because of it, I rather enjoyed the whole thing. Daniel still looked rather shaken by the ordeal (he also didn't feel like going but he caved in before I did spineless)But ironically the one who was most scared was KX himself, basket.

Later on while looking for a poster of the movie to put up here I discovered that it came out in 2007 in america, like wtf this movie is so old. =_=

That night I went straight to bed and slept very soundly indeed. But the next night, just as I was drifting off to sleep...I overhaerd a few clanking sounds emanating from the floor below.

O_O

Night, all!

Afterthought

Oh, and on saturday we went for the KLCC The Star Edufair. Arrived there half a day later than when we planned. That's the Gan family for you: Bringing typical M'sian timing to the extreme.


So here it is, the fair.Went for a talk first upstairs; though there were empty seats in front the (second time today) typical mentality was to clump together in groups. So there was a bunch of content with standing people crowding around at the back.

Well, whatever floats their boat.

Later we went down to the convention area which spanned a space like an airfraft hangar.... I guess, though I wouldn't presume to say I know much about aircraft hangars. (Deity, I'm rambling.)

So anyway yeah. Collected some brochures, picked up a few prospecti for 2009. Didn't see anyone I know there, since Shakti probably left on Saturday.

Oh yeah forgot to mention we arrived at 8pm so we checked into a hotel and left Aunty Kuan's golf bag for Bellamy in the concierge and I can't remember what we had for dinner like who cares anyway was thinking of meeting up with some people and I missed Esther's youth concert should've contacted her earlier crud but anyway I wasn't really dressed for going out (shorts an' all) so I guess it wasn't fated hmm I wonder how long I can keep up this stream-of-consciousness thing not long huh I guess I'll stop.

So we went for it on sunday.

Later had a poke around Sungei Wang; got a bit lost and ended up in a half-deserted poorly lit complex which only sold techy trinkets but that's ok 'cos I needed to use the gents anyway. It's a bit sad that almost everything there is girls' apparel, the cheapest stuff for guys was about 60+ and I wasn't particularly loaded at the time.

Which gets me wondering how come fashion is considered as a women thing, though I've seen enough narcissism in the guy's toilet mirror to opine otherwise.

Then I remember that it's a teenage boy phase, and most of us grow up to wear the usual suit and tie/shirt and jeans emsemble. And I infer that guys in general really aren't that into it. Function over style and all that. But where does that leave the metrosexuals?

. . .

Feel like expanding this somewhat but can't seem to muster an iota's worth of interest =.=

Teh Partayy! =D

It was just as second mate postulated; the best really is for last. =)

Introducing

TEMASEK POLYTECHNIC

By far this was the most impressive entrance, with two blocks of institution curving in to make a giant ''C'', forming an almost natural square in the middle (or circle, in this case).



Ffirst of all, let me list out a bunch of reasons why I like this place:

1. It's spacious. Like Jusco, sans the air-conditioning.
   
2. It's got the most variety of design courses =) And the students' work is AWESOME.
   
3. It's got a lotta things going on (more on this later) and,
   
4. People here know how to LET DOWN THEIR HAIR, YEAH.
   

But why take my word for it? Let the pictures speak (mostly) for themselves :

Below is a snazzy performance by the Drama CCA of TP, emoting to a song from the noir musical Chicago;

Everyone is here hollering along to the live band's (totally rocking) rendition of Bon Jovi's "You Give Love A Bad Name"! Oh yeah.

A footnote: The colours correspond to which field they're in. (Blue for IT, Red for business admin, etc.)

When I addressed this man here I thought he was just a repairman or something....

Little did I realise I was actually talking to da big boss himself, a guy running the whole place with less presumption in his demeanour than the janitor!

Suffice to say I was nonplussed. And throughout the whole thing while I was struggling to make a witty comback he just stood there and looked at me to gauge my reaction wtf.

Lagi pressure wei!!

After an eternity all I could cough up was a feeble

"So . . . what's up?" >_<

Later on though, he graciously acquiesced to a photo, but only if I were in it as well.

Probably 'cos I make him look taller. Ah yes, the quintessential cafeteria, complete with cuisine of neopolitan variety. And once again, I see 'Muslim' food. After getting my really cheap chicken chop (S$3 for a set!) I glanced over at the malay menu; they didn't even have hash for crying out loud.

I gotta say, TP is really big on cheers, chants, and all manner of youthful extroversion. Damn semangat wei~

Not Yet Premier

But getting there, no worries. View from the entrace.







Bah, 5 minutes walk from the bus terminal. At least it's a covered walkway so the only ones with grounds for protest would be my feet.

At the end of the walkway we ascended on the escalator (the only one I've seen in any poly) to the scene before us. Yah, that's a mini-blimp over there. Powered by four really tiny engines, you know, the ones that drive cheap toy racers around their grey tracks and which absurdly was popular enough to spawn its own shounen anime....Huh.

Boring facet of architecture #3: Seems every poly has to have its own glass case for their flights of stairs. Saw this before in SP and NP, but I thought it was just a design quirk to modernify the place. Must be the same contractor. No doubt Batam will have the same staircases.



Chanced across the Japanese Culture Society whilst taking a stroll. Apparently it's so big they have 3 subdivisions:
The kimono and sake-swilling tea preparation club (forogt the real name)





The origami enthusiasts' club



And the anime & manga appreciation club. The girl on the left is wearing something in the Harajuku District style, I believe.









The whole place is invariably grey...Not quite the stimulating environs for creativity, but at least the greens break up the monotony.
There was a whole row of these along some of the corridors. Rates are cheap too, going at around S$3 a month. Why can't all schools have this? I accredit my slouch to you, primary 1-6, you who made us lug 5kg of textbooks up 4 flights of stairs, every single frickin' day! >=O

Curiosity unsatiated, I made a tour of one of the blocks (apparently accessible only by lift, since nary a flight of stairs could I locate)
It just so happened I was in the Design Wing, so there were quite few pieces of art, most of which I won't put up since I'm lazy and a miser. But since I'm in a good mood, I'll concede two:

Visually striking, yet it probably only took a few choice snips of the scissors to create this. Inspiring.



Looks like anime still has fans well into their early 20s...W00t, D.Gray-Man! =D


And then there was the School of Engineering.

Lake of Fire vs. Plain of Ice: Who will survive? (Half-formed idea just waiting for fruition 5 years down the road, mental note)

Later they did some performances, and Jean Danker played DFTL with the adoring crowd.
NYP's stage was way more accessible than SP's, at any rate.

Went back up to the Japanese Society where this fair maiden was sitting demurely at a table =)

And back at the main hall, a very well-choreographed dance was to be had, with individual acts taking turns to strut their stuff, and later coming together in the finale for a smashing performance. Click to enlarge.

Finally, got this one done. Can't believe it took me all of two hours to do >_<

Last up: Temasek Polytechnic!

Noisy Percussionists

Yeah so the next on the list: Ngee Ann Polytechnic. (Short form is NP not NAP, only Nan Yang has a 3-letter acronym)

As I alighted from the bus, what sprawled out before me was this:

If you squint, you may be able to make out the Poly's name on the building way at the back.

So yes, Ngee Ann. Also pretty big, from what I could make out, with booths displaying talent and course-exposure halls aplenty.

As I meandered in, a cacophony of percussion beats began to assail my ears. Upon further exploration they were found to be radiating from this.

They called themselves the Barracuda. Or some such Jamaica-originated bohemian name. From where I was taking this shot the drums were loud enough to beat a tattoo into my skull. I can only surmise after a preformance they all probably go deaf for a few days. (I doubt even earplugs could stop the onslaught of throbbing bass.)


Further on into amongst the buildings the surround sound melted into some soothing if rather monotonous acoustics. The source:

Or for the not-all-that-observant, the Song Composing booth. Quite the quirky CCA for a poly. Since 'ços most people are interested in the sing a few bars and get famous part, not the behind the scenes squeezing of creative juices and only a footnote in the platinum-selling album to show for it part. Go figure.

In other news, the cafeteria is post-modern as usual...Menu here is also reminiscient of the shopping complex, with the ubiquitous local dishes and some foreign fare. Here too, malay food is called Muslim Cuisine wtf.

Wow, there appears to be a trend emerging. NP seems to be really big on music, 'ços the next thing that caught my optic lens was this-

People here apparently don't mind photographers much, ços they happily let me in to their Radio Station, where they broadcast music live from in here to around the whole campus. You can request dedications and the like, just like a real station. =) The place probably often gets hijacked though,no doubt for spammage purposes.

What strikes me when I look back at the architecture is how very neo-japanese high school the buildings are. It's like they're really big on bright and contrasting colours on some so-straight-it's-linear cinderblocks. The only exception to this rule is the auditorium,

Greek in derivation and round as a mushroom.


Some other random pics:

Spotted this on one of their feedback boards. Guess I'm not the only thorn among the roses. =)

Yet another plus point of toting a huge official-looking cam around: People will automatically pose for you, thinking their pics will be splashed all over the school mag. Ha!

Sorry for the delay...you know you feel less like doing work when there's a whole mountain as opposed to a tiny molehill. Next up: Nanyang Poly!