Pissed.

Too pissed to blog. =(

So I went bloghopping instead. And a lot of things gave me food for thought. Like how everyone's talking about 2012. Surely something is gonna happen by then. Comic strips are joking about it, people are scoffing at it. Even a pastor had a vision about it.

Wtf la..

And another thing is how I discovered some people are really worse off than I am. And these are people I actually know and care about. (I thought about this for a moment. Actually, I don't really care. And it unsettles me that I could be so apathetic. Where did my empathy go? =S)

For the guy who has an alcoholic for a dad, and the girl who lost hers, and the boy who never even knew his---and now, for the girl whose parents are threatening to divorce and whose family is so much more dysfunctional than my own:

I'm sorry

.
I promise to be a better person--- a pillar of strength, a wise well of advice, a champion of the the oppressed.

Most of all, a Someone who Cares.

"Where does my spirit linger?
Whence has it gone astray?

Oh, my soul.
Where art thou?"

Help me God.

A Journal Post

Last night was sheer hell. No matter how much I swept, wiped, sneezed, blew, the one element most vexating about my room remained an exasperating constant:

DUST.

It seems silly to think about stuff going bump in the night and dogs barking at something unseen... when there was a very real and definitely irritating demon residing in my nose.
Rawr.

Blast you, Congested Sinuses! =x(

The bane of my existence.

Another pointless Q & A session with myself.

[EDIT. Ok, maybe a foreword. Man is by definition curious. He needs to know stuff. Specifically, he needs to know his ultimate purpose. Thus, in the same way, he seeks truth.]

So,

Why do we seek truth?

Because we're insecure.





Why are we insecure?

Because of our ephemeral existence. That's why we look for the eternal amongst the finite.





But why do we even strive to survive? Because of evolution? But why evolve? To survive.




If we trace this question in all of its forms back to an original question, that question might be:

From whence did Life come from, that it feels compelled to sustain itself?





If you wanna look at Life as merely a more complicated method of transferring energy, then we are the ultimate evolution of the universe.

What do I mean by this? I'm suggesting that perhaps we're just a natural extension of chemical reactions brought upon by the random displacement of particles and atoms on Earth, plus a catalyst (such as lightning) thrown into the mix at the right moment to bring forth....Life.

Okay.

Imagine a primordial soup of volatile chemicals mixing and roiling together in an almighty swoosh of complex molecules. Perhaps somehow, somewhere, an accidental reaction occurs, and the resulting molecule(the first bacterium) by chance is able to convert the surrounding molecules of chemicals into energy. Not only that, it also has to retain some kind of method to replicate itself, so that more of its kind will appear and it won't just die out.

But therein lies the question:

Why does it need to replicate?

Oh sorry, what was that? The information for replication happened by chance? Oh, so does that mean that the reason for replication serves no purpose at all? That everything happened by chance? Oh, okay.

So, if you believe that randomisation in the universe can come up with this sort of complexity, then ultimately there is no purpose for us to continue living. We're just one big accident, after all.

But wait a minute. If that is the case, why do we crave look for a purpose? Why do we think? Why do need to wonder about these things? Where does this need come from?

On a related note: Why do we have morals and ethics, if all we need to do is to survive?

Do they serve our own selfish needs? Hardly; it goes against the "survival of the fittest" diatribe which plagues so much of our world, especially the corporate one. We're effectively rebelling against the laws of nature.

In order to answer this question, we need to first understand and define the meaning of morals and ethics. Once we've done that, then only we can apply this reasoning to the origins to the need to have a purpose, and THEN we can actually discover exactly WHAT this purpose IS.

I hope you were able to follow me on that last part, 'cos I had a problem working that entire process out. Yes, my brain capacity is limited kthx. =_=

And I think I've reached the end of my tether in this post.

So next up: What exactly is in a moral?

Gabs out.

What are they waiting for?!

Went out to Jusco and watched a horror movie with KX and the gang.

(Now was that so hard to type down? You're so preoccupied with making a post look 'edgy' and 'creative' that you get caught up in your own self-styled mania.)

NO pics here, since I didn't expect a full-blown outing. I just went to look at some pants, man.

At first I was dead set against watching anything vaguely horror-based, ever since I was thrown head-first into the deep end when I was 6 years old.
(>>GREAT-UNCLE STORY ALERT<<)
My babysitter's daughter had me stay over at their place....And in typical teenager fashion, she had a fascination with blood and gore.

Yeah, you know what that means.

Teenagers+late night sleepover+impressionable little kid=Horror Movie.

At the time, being the brave (read:stupid) child I was, I chose to watch both instead of just choosing one like what she suggested -- stupid, stupid, stupid. I remember the titles, but I know one was a live-action 'fest featuring a devil-incarnate guy with needles all over his face like some acupuncturist's wet dream, terrorizing the populace with an equally terrifying entourage and a Rubik's cube. The other was some period anime which in those days had quite a propensity for gore.


Thus, these two horror flicks gauged in me an indelible fear of all things horror.

After that debacle, even The Nightmare Before Christmas was scary. >_<

[/end great-uncle story]

So can you fault me then, for being just a wee bit apprehensive of going into the cold, dark cinema and sitting there with my legs curled up in front of me, just to get scared witless -- and PAY for it too? =.=

At first I was dead set on not going but in the end KX talked me over. Stupid peer pressure.

Oh well, they say you gotta face your fears sooner or later...Though I was rather hoping for the latter.

Two hours later, we stumbled out of the theatre and went window shopping. Oh, the movie? Cliched to the last drop of blood. I could list out on one hand the usual stuff:

1. Cute, innocent little boy, check.
2. Harried mother willing to go any lengths to save her son, check.
3. Relatives-in-law with skeletons(literally) in the closet, check.
4. Wise old guy who points the way, check.

Sigh.

Even the scares are cookie-cutter representations of the norm:

1.Man gets killed in the opening credits (like why does this always happen?Can they for once not have a flashback-to-an-earlier-period?)
2.The ghost standing on the sidewalk looking staring eerily up at the protagonist
3.An almost customary bathroom scene *rolleyes*
4.Waking dreams, rattling furniture, flesh-eating bones
5.Overworking of the soundtrack (why does every scare have to come with its own theme song?)


The list goes on, though there are some unintentionally funny scenes.... like the part where the ghost beckons the boy round a corner and the weird camera angles make it look like he goes walking in the other direction instead. So we were sniggering in the dark about how the ghost must be hanging around waiting impatiently for the boy to come and just floating there like an idiot XD.

Huh. So much for facing up to your fears =/

Well anyway despite all that, or because of it, I rather enjoyed the whole thing. Daniel still looked rather shaken by the ordeal (he also didn't feel like going but he caved in before I did spineless)But ironically the one who was most scared was KX himself, basket.

Later on while looking for a poster of the movie to put up here I discovered that it came out in 2007 in america, like wtf this movie is so old. =_=

That night I went straight to bed and slept very soundly indeed. But the next night, just as I was drifting off to sleep...I overhaerd a few clanking sounds emanating from the floor below.

O_O

Night, all!

Afterthought

Oh, and on saturday we went for the KLCC The Star Edufair. Arrived there half a day later than when we planned. That's the Gan family for you: Bringing typical M'sian timing to the extreme.


So here it is, the fair.Went for a talk first upstairs; though there were empty seats in front the (second time today) typical mentality was to clump together in groups. So there was a bunch of content with standing people crowding around at the back.

Well, whatever floats their boat.

Later we went down to the convention area which spanned a space like an airfraft hangar.... I guess, though I wouldn't presume to say I know much about aircraft hangars. (Deity, I'm rambling.)

So anyway yeah. Collected some brochures, picked up a few prospecti for 2009. Didn't see anyone I know there, since Shakti probably left on Saturday.

Oh yeah forgot to mention we arrived at 8pm so we checked into a hotel and left Aunty Kuan's golf bag for Bellamy in the concierge and I can't remember what we had for dinner like who cares anyway was thinking of meeting up with some people and I missed Esther's youth concert should've contacted her earlier crud but anyway I wasn't really dressed for going out (shorts an' all) so I guess it wasn't fated hmm I wonder how long I can keep up this stream-of-consciousness thing not long huh I guess I'll stop.

So we went for it on sunday.

Later had a poke around Sungei Wang; got a bit lost and ended up in a half-deserted poorly lit complex which only sold techy trinkets but that's ok 'cos I needed to use the gents anyway. It's a bit sad that almost everything there is girls' apparel, the cheapest stuff for guys was about 60+ and I wasn't particularly loaded at the time.

Which gets me wondering how come fashion is considered as a women thing, though I've seen enough narcissism in the guy's toilet mirror to opine otherwise.

Then I remember that it's a teenage boy phase, and most of us grow up to wear the usual suit and tie/shirt and jeans emsemble. And I infer that guys in general really aren't that into it. Function over style and all that. But where does that leave the metrosexuals?

. . .

Feel like expanding this somewhat but can't seem to muster an iota's worth of interest =.=